It has been confirmed through a valid source (me) that the spiders in this country have formed a group. They meet every day right before I get home from work and they play a game called "Who Can Get To Maddie's Bed First And Even If You Can't Get There First Go Anyways Too". It's a terrible game and I wish they'd find other ways to entertain themselves. You'd think after a few months they'd branch out. Spiders can be so one track minded.
I've grown to accept their twisted sense of humor in attempting to frighten me and now resort to simply being grateful that they're still sending the babies out to instill the fear inside of me that the mother's are not far behind. Someone is soon to become angry that I keep killing their children. Their baby spider children. But honestly, who wants a baby spider child? I feel like even the spider mum would be like, "Why do you have eight legs? Why are you so hairy? Why do you have, like, 17 eyes? You're an embarrassment, please get thee hence."
Referring to the picture above, that is the outcome of wholesome recreational activities. Mormons, I tell ya, they're lunatics. The YSA hosted an activity for the youth, human hungry hippos. The name should clearly state the outcome of such an activity, but we refused to be deterred. So we saddled small youths onto skateboards and shoved them out into a sea of balloons to crash into each other because we thought it'd be smart. Everyone came out unscathed except the Parcell kids. Of course. Trying to avoid bad luck for the Parcell's is like trying to part the Red Sea. It can't be done unless according to God's will. And God has a sense of humor and he's probably thinking, "Why stop now?"
I inadvertently shoved Karly into another rolling child and she knocked her head. We figured that wasn't good enough, so I kept shoving her until she smashed her nose into the tip of another's skateboard and was out for the season. So I stepped up, yelled, "WE ARE SPARTA." and blindly slid into the crowd of skateboards and balloons and people. Then Leo bashed his head into a laundry basket because he had some Islander who's arm strength is comparable to that of 57 body builders, shove him into the line up as well.
I'm sure that as long as you followed any idea for a church activity with, "... and I'll find a scripture that can convert the whole thing into a spiritual thought." You could suggest anything from taking everyone to McDonalds to organized knife fighting. It's really just how you phrase it.
The weekend has finally found me and I'm happy to follow it around like a lost puppy until it kicks me to the streets again. Whenever the word "equality" crosses my mind, I can't help but feel confused as to how we have at least 5 working days, and only 2 leisure days? Where ... who divided that?
If you need me, I'll be sleeping. So don't need me.
MP
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