These are just sentences that I put together.

When other family members/roommates put away dishes in the wrong place after living there for like 4 months and you're just like DO YOU EVEN LIVE HERE.

Two things they should definitely teach you in school: how to pay taxes and how to cut a pizza into 8 equal pieces.

When you try to be healthy but the universe says "NO FAT." And then there was chocolate pie.
And then there was pizza.
And then there was handfuls of chocolate chips.
And then there was even more of those.
And then there was ketchup.

Sometimes when I go throughout a week of work, and I think about how I'm the only employee who consistently shows up, and how I have a full time job in a different county and I'm only 20, and how I don't get enough sleep, and how I am under appreciated for the work I do (and, as it turns out, underpaid) I tell myself THAT I AM A BAD-A that I will not be attending work the following week. Or weeks. Or ever. But I always show up, bright and too early, Monday morning. Honestly, I wish I had the self control to stop myself from getting out of bed and going to work. I am too diligent. It's a flaw, really.

Ugh.

Do you ever feel like you are living the life of the Phantom in The Phantom of the Opera. Meaning, you are going to end up threatening countless couples in an attempt to find someone who will love you, but then you give up and end up smashing mirrors and screaming "THE WORLD SHOWED NO COMPASSION TO ME!" Because sometimes I do.

You know you're in a bad spot when shaving your armpits isn't "Yeesh, I need to shave my arm pits." but "Eh .. I've got time."

I have not been getting the necessary amount of sleep recommended by scientists and I think I need to be getting that.

I WALK PAST MCDONALDS EVERY DAY ON THE WAY HOME FROM WORK AND NOT ONCE HAVE I PURCHASED A BURGER FROM THEM YOU ARE WELCOME WOW I AM AMAZING.

Henry is currently rolling himself up in my blanket. He got stuck just a minute ago and started screaming because he didn't know how to get out. But then he did. And now he's using a tupperware container as an airplane. WHY CAN'T I BE TWO WAAAHAHAHAHAWHYYYY.

Sometimes I feel like I am a two year old perpetually stuck in a blanket. That's how I feel sometimes.

Ok bye.

MP