My emotions are shot. Is that a spider?

The week has made me nauseous. I was forced onto an emotional roller coaster of the highest highs and the absolute lowest of lows. But I'm still here. Still movin' and groovin'. Just a little beat up is all.

I've written heaps this week. Endless trains of thought are constantly running through my head and begging me to form them into real sentences and essays. I've got random, short bursts on my phone, word documents saved quickly on my desktop, and a plethora of unpublished posts. 

As a girl and amateur writer, who's emotions have been rudely prodded and somewhat squashed, my mind is forever moving.

So. Onto other things. 

When God shook his head, chuckling at me for whining over my inability to conquer all that is Australia, I think he forgot that there were spiders. And once I arrived, he was like, "Oh. Yeah. The spiders. Yeah, no, you can't handle that."

I have been living in a constant state of fear, resenting the fact that I am surrounded by these deadly creepy crawlers, and inability to sleep completely at night because of Australia's willingness to house these terrible awfuls. But the fear recently became more real.

Thankfully, bless the heavens, I haven't yet set eyes on one. But I was informed yesterday that TWO WERE SIGHTED !! IN MY HOUSE !!!!! WITHIN THE SPAN !!! OF ! ONLY A DAY MAYBE?? 

When my dad said, "Mom found a spider in the kitchen." I knew that since he didn't specify what spider, and simply because he had to tell me she had found one, meant that it was the one sent to kill our family.

A white tail. Sounds like a cute bunny rabbit, right? WELL IT'S NOT. It's a venomous spider created in the deepest, depths of hell by Satan himself that will make you want to chop your leg off (should that be where the wound is inflicted) and bash your head into the wall until you pass out. 

So, before I was like, "oooo spiders ahhh no." But now I'm like, "WHAT IS THIS PLACE I'VE COME TO I AM NOT EVEN SAFE IN MY LIVING QUARTERS." Insomnia just became the real deal. I've had my bed pulled away from the wall since we came here, which is simply just a mattress on the floor, to instill fear? in the empty hearts of the spiders. Because they won't be able to get me because they stick to the wall ... ? I'm trying to console myself, you must understand. 

I seriously contemplated moving my bed to the very middle of the room, but quickly understood this would resemble a sad altar, in which the spiders may feel I've invited them to sacrifice me to their satanic spider god. 

Help me seriously really.

MP