Someone teach me how to missionary

A girl I work with struck up a conversation with me about religion. She told me she was a Jehovah's Witness, had been since she was little, and I sat fidgeting, curious to know if I was supposed to scream, "WILL YOU BE BAPTIZED." or hand her a Book Of Mormon and pat her arm lovingly, saying I'll be sending the missionaries over shortly.

It wasn't until a few days later that somehow my own religion came up (obviously I am not socially able to discuss my religion) and she was excited to know that I was Mormon. Because she had never worked with a Mormon before. Because you know how Mormons ... work ... differently than ... everyone else ... ? After she asked me a few questions and I was like "I srsly ... I have no clue wut to even tell you even though I went to primary and things" she told me that she wanted me to convince her to be Mormon.

And then I said, "Haha ... ha ... what."

I never realized that I couldn't answer the simple question of "What do you believe in?" I couldn't sum it up in less than 30 seconds. I was so befuddled that I was confronted with someone who wasn't of my faith, and needed to be told what it is that we were so happy about. How in the world do I tell you enough, but not too much, but just the right amount, about the LDS church in a concise way, in order to give you something to think about, and to provoke the right questions? It was at this point in time that I decided I should not have grown up in Utah. I didn't wish that I would have served a mission, because I can't stand stubborn people (like myself) and obviously am no good at explaining something that has molded me as a person.

HOW IS IT THAT I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW I AM WHAT I AM BECAUSE OF WHAT HAS BEEN WITH ME SINCE I WAS A WEE BABE.

I am an embarrassment.

Somehow she kept asking questions, questions I had no idea how to correctly answer, or where to even begin.

I got home and told my mom I needed a Book Of Mormon and a Preach My Gospel. But since we live where we do, and abso-fruitly NO ONE ships to, talks to, looks at, or thinks about Australia, it is difficult for me to get a hold of such things.

I managed to tell her about missionaries and how that is usually how one learns and becomes a member, but she was adamant that I tell her about it. She wanted me to teach her because she didn't know the missionaries. I can't even define the Gospel, and she wants me to teach her. This must be a prank.

BTW, "Gospel" means "good news". I didn't know that when she asked me, so we had to Google it together. That's me. As a missionary. Googling the answers to important, life changing questions.

Onward christian soldiers. I'll be at the back trying to keep up.

MP