"Purposefully breaking dishes to decrease kitchen clean up times" - Donald Trump's next big (political) idea because his IQ is the highest and don't we know it!

You've successfully alluded my mindless banter for a month now, but I'm back and stronger weaker than ever, so prepare yourselves for another lengthy absence.

I've tried countless times to maintain a steady dedication to physical fitness and I'll give you a go at guessing how thats been working for me. 

It's not been. It's been not working. Not, is what it has been doing is nothing. Not doing been. 

My mind is literal slush. Ok, so literal is a harsh word. But I truly believe I've experienced difficult, if not the most difficult, physical and emotional trauma (Dare I say trauma? I dare say trauma.) these past months that I've escaped to Australia. You would think, possibly wish, that when you quite literally leave things behind, as I did (10,000 miles behind and over seas to be exact), it would allow you moderate peace and quiet from an atmosphere of confusion, stress and frustrating excitement. 

I am exempt from that sort of zen, apparently, because the confusion and the stress and the frustrating excitement simply tagged along for the extended "vacation". If not specific situations from home, the Universe courteously introduced new and improved experiences for me to enjoy! Such a sweet, demonic thinker, the Universe.

I heard once that you should not consider the Universe to be conspiring against you, but to be completely in your favor and attempting to assist you in whatever your greatest endeavors are. Well. I would like to test that theory with a lengthy and descriptive book of my time spent here in Australia. And, for that matter, my entire life. There is a slight flaw with that type of combat, and it's the fact that it involves me and I would give up. 

After work, my dad asked that I sincerely vacuum my room. I assumed this request stemmed from another sighting of the infamous spiders that live only to instill fear deep in my soul. Well it works. It has worked for just about all 20 years of my life, is it possible we can desist and they can go home with a win? Is this a religious sort of deal? A lifestyle? I disagree with it. I'm sure Donald Trump will handle it.

Personally, I believe the obvious solution is to drench the house in gasoline and set it ablaze. But, surprisingly, I stand alone with that opinion.

You'll be pleased to know that I've recently conjured up a brilliant way to ease the burden of excess dishes while baking! (Not a good enough reason to use the word 'conjured' but I'll continue.) Since it seems to be the main deterrent (other than funding for the supplies, exiting the house to purchase the supplies, and locating the energy to put together said supplies to form a disappointing un-lookalike from Pinterest ... k so lots of deterrents but again, lets move on.) of baking, to have to clean up after yourself, at least for me, why don't we drastically cut the prices of glass dishes, large and small that can be used for baking, so that once their use of mixing, kneading, stirring or beating is finished, we can simply toss them to the floor! They will most likely shatter (obviously this will be done by throwing the dish away from you and not towards a child or living animal) (or a dead animal) (or a dead child) (please, don't keep dead things in your house) and after your baking escapade is through, you can simply sweep up the organized mess and, voila!, clean up time is significantly shorter.

And that's all she wrote.

-m