If I were a personal trainer ...

^^ Michael Scott, everyone. What an inspiration.

^^ Driving back from the museum/Costco yesterday.

^^ K FIRST OF ALL. IF THAT WAS ALL YOU DID, YOU WOULD NOT LOOK LIKE THAT. Jeez louise. Some peoples kid, I tell ya.

Due to the fact that boredom has insisted its company upon me, I've taken to reading and working out (Side note: there's some PBS slogan that keeps coming to mind that's like "expanding our bodies and our mind, or our knowledge and our minds or something and I can't remember it for the life of me and it's killing me.) and also I can never sleep at night, so thoughts just race through my mind, on just about every discussable topic in the world. Every single one. I've even thought about the Presidential Campaign. And I don't even know what politics is even are.

So. Because of the incessant thoughts of working out and eating right, I just had these few moments of extreme dedication to taking care of my body. I mean, the moments are still going I suppose, but the Shia-Labeouf-Just-Do-It attitude toward it only lasted a few minutes. Still. Here's my shpeel. Listen to it.

If you make it a priority, it will become a priority.

You probably despise peeling yourself out of bed in the morning to go to work, but you do it anyways, don't you? Because it's a priority, isn't it? Sure, you'd get fired if you didn't go, so obviously it's important enough that you get up and do it every day, without fail. 

So why not act like taking care of your body is something that you must do, everyday, or you'll get fired. You'll fire yourself. HAHA wouldn't that be a blow to your self esteem.

I know we all find the time to make excuses about why we can't work out, and we all find the time to complain about how we're not happy with the way we look. So then why not kill two birds with one stone, and do something about it? If you start working out, you won't be making excuses about not doing it, because, duh, you're doing it right now, and you won't be complaining about the way your body looks because it will slowly but surely become what you want it to be. 

Zumba is BY FAR my absolute favorite way to work out. But, I guess, only when my mom teaches it. Lucky for me, my mom teaches it. And, lucky for me, she lives with me too. So this morning we did a two person class and I was sweating bullets. It was fantastic. And you know what? Afterwards, I didn't want a brownie, I wanted a banana and some water. I was so amazed with myself, I felt like I should reward myself with brownies. But I didn't. (But I've done that before.)

Anyways. I'm sure, I'm sure, you can find 15 minutes to dedicate to bettering yourself. Run a lap around the block, do some squats, do some crunches, do some push ups. Voila! 15 minutes. If you're boo-hooing, "Well I don't want to have to get all dressed up in my work out gear for only 15 minutes. Waste of time. I'd rather sit in my bed and stare and the wall and think about Barney."

Well then make more time and make it worth it. I'm serious. Babies.

Just kidding. Totally just being serious.

If you're not going to put forth any effort to make it a priority, and you're not going to do anything about the body that you aren't happy with, then don't complain. 

I'm going into summer, and y'all are going into winter (HAHAHA SUCKS FOR YOU) so I suppose it becomes more difficult to run outside once it's snowing and what not. But you can go to a class at the gym. Or youtube work outs online. YOU ALSO CAN EAT HEALTHY FOODS GOSH DARN.

Seriously kids. I swear that if you just eat healthy, you can lose weight without moving an inch. Drink water, eat good food ... WHAM. God-like body. (K so you do actually have to exercise some but that's seriously the easiest part.) Plus, I know you guys are in charge of the food you buy, so you can get cheese and crackers instead of fruit snacks. And you can buy Honey Bunches of Oats instead of Captain Crunch. And you can get carrots and broccoli instead of Oreo's. (Fun fact: I promise that if you steam carrots and broccoli, then refrigerate them, they taste sweeter.)

BUT WAIT. THERE'S MORE. Totally buy treats. I love treats. Strudels, scones, even apple pandowdy (High School Musical, anyone?). Because if all you were ever aloud to eat was healthy food, life would be such a drag and we might as all eat grass out in the fields with the llamas. You know since there's llamas everywhere. (...?) 

Moderation, my friends. Everything in moderation. And you can take that to the bank.

K, well, see ya.

MP